dramageek734

11:01 pm: Today = Best day of my life
Ok so he came over today and we watched The Village. He started flirting and next thing you know we are cuddled on the coutch. Next thing you know we are kissing. next thing you know..... ummmm... you dont need to know about that one. OMG! im sooo just kidding. Nothing else happened. But it was the best feeling eva to be in his arms. I lurve my life. I lurve him. But afterwards he said that we should still be um... more than friends but need to take it slow. Im like what a hell!!!!! You instigated everything and then say we're going to fast? What eva! I understand. i guess. He has rushed into alot of stuff in the past and wants to be careful cause he dosnet want to screw this realationship up. I dont know. but i can respect that. He still was the one making all the moves so i dont get it. uhhhh....gay men!

11:45 pm: ::sigh::

wow! Sunday was intense! It was full of ends and beginnings. First off it was closing of The Scarlet Pimpernel and B4B. If you came you rock if you didnt (shakes fist angerly.) It was an amazing production. Im sooo sad its over. Well at the cast party i started getting bored so i called he who must not be named. Well we are talking and he's on the computer and he's all like "oh, mabey i should check my email." Then i go "oh shit" remembering the letter i sent him the night before which i talked about in my last entry. He reads it and goes "omg! i also have developed very strong feelings for u." and i go "score!" and we agree to be ummmm... partners..... or boyfriends... or whatever youd like to call us. Im sooo happy! However we are gonna go pretty slow because he wants to be careful since he's rushed into alot of meanless realationships in the past. well i figured i should show u guys the letter i wrote 2 him since it shows how big a flirt i am.

Dear (ha! like im telling his name yet),

            Thank you sooooo much for coming 2 my show. I was soooooo glad you got to see it. I admit. During the wedding dance I looked out, saw you, and messed up the dance. I saw you again during Into the Fire and I dropped my sword. Lol!  After that I was sure to try not to look at you. But of course at times I couldnt help it. lol. You are so beautiful to look at. lol. uh oh! Kurty is getting flirty. lol. I want you to know that i no longer have a crush on you. I hate to feel this way cause i know we're suppost to just be friends but these feelings are constantly playing games with me. I love you. I truly love you. For you and not just your looks or your hot blue hair! lol! You are naturally a very friendly, sweet, and intressting person and i absolutly love talking to you and spending time with you. You keep me awake all night sometimes. I just lay in bed for hours thinking of your laugh and your smile and your beautiful eyes, and your gorgeous voice. Im sorry if this makes things feel wierd. But you are so easy to love and these emotions are sooooo hard to keep inside.. My life is a musical. Literally. Lol.  Everytime I think of you I start breaking out into love song. Haha. Do ummmm…. Normal people do that? What the hell! We all already know Kurtis is far from normal. Lol. But now i finally realize why there are soo many songs about love. Now that im truly experiencing love for myself. Im not asking u out or anything like that. I just feel a lot for you and you deserve to know that because you’re a wonderful person and I love you.
-kurty!

PS: Please Please don’t have this make everything weird. Im really debating sending this because I absolutly dont want it to change our friendship. I love being your friend. On days I have felt very sad you have made me happy. I am astonished more people didn’t go out of their way to be your friend back at Blake because you are one of the best friends anyone could ever have. Those snobs don’t even know what they ignored.

01:33 am: Come see the last performance of The Scarlet Pimpernel and B4B's last show EVER! Sunday June 19th at 2:00 pm at The New State-of-the-Art Theatre at The Academy of the Holy Cross 4920 Strathmore Ave. Kensington, MD 20895. From what I hear the audenices so far lurved the show. Yay! I feel lurved, Lots of people came tonight.. Like Sean, and Lubi, and Laura, and Erin, and Fili, and JD, and Heather, and Alice and... and... i hope i didnt miss anyone. Thank you all for coming. I just sent he who must not be named a long love note. hmmm.... mabey i shouldnt have. I dont want to creep him out but i cant help it im a theatre kid. lol. no but im pretty sure its not creepy. lol. i try not to be.

01:15 pm: W00t! Tonight is opening night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                            

Holy Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pimpernel opens tonight!!!!!!! Holy Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well there's nothing 2 worry about! The show is flippin amazing!!!!!!! I mean AMAZING! I just hate this aful hat i have to wear. During The Creation Of Man last night it kept falling off. GRRRRAW! I hope it will work tonight (crosses fingers).  I cant wait! I think some people r coming 2 see me tonight. I know my parents are. And JD told me he is. And hopefully alot more that i dont know about (wink wink nudge nudge). Lol! Hopefully i'll see u all tonight or at some point this weekend.

12:12 am:

                                                                                      

Two DAys till opening night for The Scarlet Pimpernel. Things are finally coming togather. Yay! Mabey I wont have a nightmare tonight. I have had nightmares the past two nights about the show. Everyone should really plan on seeing it. Its amazing! The story, music, sets, lighting will def amaze u. Plus i have the best role in the show. teehee! The bounders are sooooo funny! Its a show that is hilarious, and is really dramatic, and has lots of action, and has some of the coolest music i have ever heard.

05:14 pm: here is the offical poster for The Scarlet Pimpernel. Everyone MUST come. So that i can have an audenice all to myself. heehee. jk. its gonna be really good. Alot of hard work is going into this show and its really worth seeing. Ok. Well i g2g to tech week rehersal day 1! See ya!

10:58 am:

Come to see ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Its gonna be amazing and everyone HAS to see it!

1. Friday June 17, 2005 at 7:30 p.m.
   Saturday June 18 at 2:00 & 7:30 p.m.
   Sunday June 19 at 2:00 p.m.

$14 for adults, $11 for students/seniors

The New State-of-the-Art Theatre at The Academy of the Holy Cross
4920 Strathmore Ave.
Kensington, MD 20895

oh yea... and my friends Corri, Katheryn, Natalie, Daryl, Elliot, Sarah, and Erik are in it too ;-)

05:27 pm: Wow! 18!
So im 18 now. It dosnet feel much diffrent. Sure i can do alot of new things but nothing kool like going to bars. lol. My birthday was pretty fun. My family went kyaking to this barren island. It was soooo pretty. It felt like the bahamas. The sand looked like snow and the water was like crystal clear. I wish everyone could have seen it. We also went go carting and went to the batting cage. I was pretty good which surprised me. Im more than just a pretty face. (strikes a pose) I told my mom that i was gay. It didnt go all that well. She was shocked and then just said it was a faze and im too young to really understand what i feel. Whatever! My family hasent gotten much exposure to gay people. They dont know how common it is. I kinda wish i didnt tell her but whats done is done. I cant change who i am. Well, today i was walking on the beach with my sister, Kim. She vists like once a year and dosnet live with my family. Well i would feel comfortable telling her but its sorta an awkward conversation to bring up. But luckly she asked me. I told her i was gay and she was cool about it. She has alot of gay friends out in Oregon so it was all good. I've had a fun time. I got an Ipod for my birthday. w00t! Now i cant wait to start filling it with showtunes. lol. Im also happy cause im coming home one day early so i can be there for Pimpernel's last rehersal before tech week. few! I wasent crazy about the idea of going into tech week without having run the show once. Well i should be off. I have to take a shower and then go play mini golf! w00t! See ya!

06:50 pm: Hello! from NC!!!
Hey! Im updating from the beach! w00t! Its the third day i've been in NC. Its been sort of a blast. We have done lost of fun stuff but i miss everyone at home. tommarow is my 18th birthday. w00t! I just wish my friends were here to celebrate it with me. :( I wish i would have invited someone. JD to be specific. The trip just completly snuck up on me. I've been soooo busy with graduation, and pimpernel, and auditions, and exams that i forgot all about the trip. Its sooo ashame. We are doing alot of fun stuff but i would just have sooo much more fun if some friends were here. i feel alot more comfortable around my friends than my family. I havent yet told them that im gay. I know they assume but i havent offically come out. However i actually plan to tell my parents tommarow on my birthday. :-/ I hope it goes well. On Thursday I had my graduation. So sad. Im gonna miss everyone so much. Afterword we went to eat Thai food. It was fun unfortunatly my stomic didnt like the thai food. lol. Thursday night i brought my sister, Kimberly to Pimp rehersal. It was fun. She finally got to see me perform. Friday I went to see Star Wars with JD. It was really good. I was soooo surprised. Def made up for those two poor excuses for cinema that were recently released. I dont even know why they filmed episode 1 and 2. They were sooooo bad. But both me and JD loved it. I've been hanging out with JD alot. Its been fun. Now that his homeschooling is finally over he can have a life. lol. Right now i dont know what im doing tommarow. My family says they have a surprise for my birthday. hmmmmmm.... i wonder what it could be.

02:52 pm: Yay! Pimpernel got 100 times better. We started sword fighting. Sooooo much fun! I feel sorry for my partner Erik. Cause im sooooo bad. And we choragraphed Teh Craetion Of Man dance. Its sooooo fun. Kevin went all out on it the way Kevin does best. Visualize Dreamgirls sung by guys and you have The Creation Of Man. LOL! Next week is my birthday. w00t! im gonna be 18. Thats scary! Well i'll be at the beach so it should be fun. Im kinda sad none of my friends will be there. :( But mabey i'll have a party when i get home :) My sister Kimberly is coming in all the way from Oregon for my graduation. I was soo excited cause she has never seen me perform EVER and my voice recital was gonna be on Friday and she was going to come. But it got cancelled. :( Im sure she will eventually see me perform. I hope. So everyone must come to see Pimpernel! Its June 17-19th at Holy Cross. It will be very good :)

02:31 pm: Ok I totally stole this from Michael Brick's Xanga but it was funny so i had too! heehee.

why to date someone in show choir:
1 We can do it for 20 min straight
2 We switch partners at least 3 times
3 We do it in many different regions
4 We dont mind getting sweaty or physical
5 We know many positions & moves
6 We practice daily
7 We can strip quickly & in the dark
8 We love being videotaped
9 We love doing it in groups
10 As dancers, we can only count to 8.

And btw everyone. Tick Tick Boom is now one of my favorite shows eva! And I am now Amy Spanger's groupie! I just got the bootleg and i watched it and it was flippin amazing! It like changed the way i look at life. haha! well, I had Pimp rehersal today. I went good! Wow! we found out Pimpernel will be B4B's last show. thats kinda depressing. And Jason isnt musical director any more for the show. We had Keith takeover. Its gonna be a good show. It will be a great finale to B4B! So much drama! I have my voice recital next week. Im embarrased to sing in it. Jason has me singing a really pretty song but its realy deep and operatic. I dont know why but its embarrasing for me to sing like that.

10:36 am: Yay! School over! w00t! im 100% done! (relaxed sigh.) Now i can finally start my life! hehe! I think im gonna audition for Carousel with Damascus Theatre Company. Cause Corri and Katie are auditioning. Plus im getting bored with the same old Pimpernel and Eden. I just wonder if i can do Children Of Eden as well as Carousel. hmmmm.... we'll see! haha. This is a good chance for me to try out my new song from Tick Tick Boom. w00t! BTW! I just got i whole bunch of new broadway bootlegs on dvd. w00t! including Tick Tick Boom! Im sooo excited. they should be coming today! I'm also looking for some dance classes to take this summer. If anyone wants to do it with me that could be really fun. Luv u guys! :-)

04:57 pm: So I had teh Fierce football party yesterday. I was a blast. I made a toutchdown. Haha! That is funny. Seeing how veryone knows how sporty Kurtis is. Well its not that hard to belive. i have always been a good runner so just as long as i catch the ball. Ugg! I hate exams. Im studying like crazy right now. OMG! You guys should take this survey! I found it on Matt's away message and it is really funny. heehee!  Find out About Your Love Life! 

01:27 am: I Miss Fierce!!!
awwww! i miss Fierce already! It was such a blast. I just got home from our final performance EVER! sigh. It was good. I sang my song, Mr. Cellophane. My microphone didnt mess up. but it felt like i was in the wrong key. But i got so many compliments it seems no one noticed. But OMG! I lurve everyone in Fierce. They are all awsome and im sooooooooooooo sad Fierce is over. its like been my life for the past year. In greenroom before the show people were in tears. I couldnt even though i felt sad but now i am bauling. I miss everyone like woah. And its not like Fierce will happen again cause it wont. Kevin and Keith are leaving B4B and they have cancelled Fierce. We were a one time thing. There will never be a Fierce again. But if your intressted check out the website for Kevin's new company. www.acttwo.org. Ok i must admit the site looks awful. It looks like a bumble bee. Im gonna have to make my own and email it to Kevin. haha! Thats what i do best.

12:06 am: I had the Fierce show today. Woah it was an up and down day. I was feeling kinda bad so it took me a long to to leave for rehersal before your performance. I got there two hours late and everyone was all mad at me :-( Kevin was furious and yelling. Then to make matters worse my solo, Mr. Cellophane had diffrent tempos than i was used to. So I was completly off and kevin was really mad. I felt awful. I felt like crying except i never really cry. I kinda just stayed quiet and didnt smile. Well my throat really hurt. My voice sounded fine but everything hurt. So Kevin decided to not use the cd track and to have Keith play the song on the piano live. That solved alot of problems. I got everything perfict once we performed for the audience. Too bad my microphone went psyco! There was lots of feedback. :-( And my throat got worse throughout the evening. However i sang, sounded decent, and had a great show. If anyone's not busy sat night come to our second and final performance at Churchill. its really good. Well now i had a great show and no one's bad at me anymore but i feel like crap! Im getting sick like woah. I need hugs and medication.

11:09 pm: OMG! it just hit me! i have like only ywo days of high school. ThenI will be gone! All my friends i may never see again. Im sooo sad. I feel like i didnt have many friends throughout high school and i just started making them at the end of this year. After i came out i felt soo much more comfortable around alot of people and they felt more comfortable around me. And now it seems like i knew them for too short a time. I am sooo sad. And i just had my dance concert! It was great. Im sooooooooooooooooo happy Corri came! I lurve her! I feel sooooo bad i couldnt give her a ride home though. And I kinda left her at my school. Im sorry Corri. I'll pay u back. I am sooo happy u came! Your awsome. Well after the concert me, Renie, and Jason went to Coldstone and saw Matt and Pat Cooper. It was funny! I had such a fun time. I love Renie and Jason. We talked along time. When i got home me and Renie just stayed parked in my driveway for like 30 minutes talking. it was great. I wish i came out sooner and I feel like now that i have i finally know myself and im happy. Before i came out i felt like i was constantly censoring my behavior and keeping stuff held in. And now i can just be myself and people dont mind.

04:19 pm: I dont know how i feel. Life is so confusing. Im sort of depressed but at the same time sort of happy. damn hormons. Well last night at prom me and he who must not be named did not makeout. too bad. im actually not that dissapointed. but at the same time i am. Life is confusing. Well i was really upset at prom baecuase i barely got to talk to him at all. He was with his date and she like kept him under lock and key. Cause she likes him and doesnt know he's gay. He has also been leading her on abit for the past couple years. Well he didnt know he was gay untill last night. He thought he was bi. Well all prom him and his date were off alone and having what looked like "serious talks." So it felt awkward going up to him. Being gay = having a life of awkward moments. Well finally he makesout with her and then she kinda leaves him and he comes and talks to me. I forgot how hot he was. He told me how he hates the night and how it feels so awkward cause hes trying to pretend to be straight. And even though he knew he wasent sraight finding out he was completly gay and not bi was a big thing for him. He told me he felt nothing when she kissed him. But she got really mad at him and he was having a horrible time. I tried to comfort him but i dont know how i did. Well after the whole fiasco with her he said he couldnt makeout with me, which i completly understood. It felt like the wrong time. Then right before he left i asked him if he liked me. i guess i shouldnt have. It was completly the wrong time. he said "um.. yeah, as a friend." And then he asked me to call him when i got home. After that i felt horrible and went into the bathroom and sulked for like 30 minutes. Then my dad picked me up and i didnt talk the whole way home. I called him when i got home and we talked for like 2 hours about his whole delima. He said i am "the cutest and sweetest person he knows but right now he really need a friend." He talked about how confusing life was. i dont remember exactly what he said but he said something like "im so glad i have u to talk to." So im kinda happy. I like our realationship like this. If we would have madeout idk. It might have been wierd. Im glad with us just being good friends. Who says i need to makeout with anyone? Or have a boyfriend?

10:01 pm: OMG! I cant wait! This friday is prom! and he will be there! and i was on the phone with him today and we both agreed to make out. me makeing out with he who must not be named = the best night of my life!!! I cant wait! Ok so weekend recap! I went to Kings Dominion which was a blast! I had soooooo much fun! I rode on the Anaconda like five times! it was soooooo fun! and Fierce performed and got a superior rating! w00t! Then on Sunday i had Pimpernel rehresal and it sucked! We got yelled at and now pretty much the whole cast hates the show. Then i had Fierce which cheered me up. Afterwords i made a big dinner for my mommy for mothers day! funny that the dinner was waffels, sasage, and a rootbeer float. hey! i tried! But she loved it!

11:59 pm: i just got back from Pajama Game Cast Party. It was fun! afterward i went to McDonalds and these two girls were hitting on me and said i was cute. It was sooooooo funny! Almost as funny as Ms. Wolf thinking me and Lauren go out. LMAO! Im going to Kings Dominion tommarow. Well today in like one minute. It will be soooo much fun! Fierce will rock. Wish me luck :-D

11:14 pm: OMG! So today Fierce went to America Sings and def killed everyone there. We got such applause. It was fun! I didnt stay for any more after our performance. I wanted to go see PJ Game at my school. It was soooooooooo good. Def my school's best show! Congrads everyone! I gotta go. im like falling asleep as i write this. Byes!